My husband is great!

I write this in tribute to my husband. Why, you may ask? Well I sit here on a United Airlines Flight, my ultimate destination being Kansas City, KS. It doesn’t sound like a glorious destination however it is not the destination but what awaits me there—my friend, Leslie. As a mother’s day/birthday gift, David presented me with the go ahead to plan a trip to see her. I could write an entire piece about her and the connection we made in such a short time but I must get back to praises about my husband. As of late I have really been thinking about him and the relationship I have with him. We have been married for 11 ½ years and I must say we have been blessed with the things we need, sometimes want…we graduated (he did with my help) from college with no financial burdens, we have 3 wonderful children and yes, we still have each other…we own our home and have even been able to build a garage this year…we truly are blessed. We both come from families who strengthen us to various degrees and support us in all our endeavors, which adds to our already gifted life together. These are a few of my thoughts but those thoughts are about “us” as an entity—we complement each other and bring out personality traits some good, others not so good. Yet my thoughts drift deeper. My natural instinct is to think about what could be better, how he could do more, love more, understand more but what good does that do. Do I want him to do the same for me? I can readily admit his list, while he doesn’t voice it, would be twice as long as mine and so I take those thoughts and set them aside to make way for the true gratitude I have for him and what he does for me. Not only am I on my way to Kansas to relax and reconnect with a dear friend but I get to be gone for entire week. Granted we have family members watching the kids while he is at work but the evenings will be filled with making dinner, cleaning up dishes, jumping on the trampoline, probably some Wii time, song time, prayer time, teeth time, bed time (probably later than normal) and mornings beginning at 6am with Nicholas crawling into bed next to let him know he is hungry for breakfast---and this is just during this week. He gets the entire weekend with the kids and to prepare a talk for Alex to give in primary. I am so grateful he recognizes the need I have to be with friends. Yes, this is a big trip and he has been counting down the days and hours for me but he does this for me weekly. I get to go to the movies, get my nails and toes done, go out to dinner, talk on the phone, do my scrapbooking, and oh, so much more and he makes it possible. While I occasionally complain that all he does is the dishes, I am actually very thankful he does them. I hate to do the dishes and while it may not get done to my standard - the dishes are loaded and unloaded and I don’t have to do it. After a long day at work he always comes home with a smile and is ready to give me a hug with open arms and spend some quality time together. He wrestles with the kids, jumps on the trampoline, is bombarded with a myriad of questions, comments, stories and everything else that comes with having kids and still he smiles and has more patience with me than he needs to with the kids because by the end of the day I am on shut down mode and ready for someone to take over. I know this is rather selfish of me as I think about it more and more and so I find myself being even more thankful for him and wanting to make the necessary changes to show him the love I have for him. But even more so I find myself wanting to treat him as I would a friend. Now we both have different ideas of what a friend is and quite often I find myself treating him less than that and so as I make this tribute I commit to doing so. I truly have a husband to be proud of. I know have a lot more in him that I fail to recognize but as I put aside the natural tendency to think of me and make room for his wants and needs as he does for me I am able to see clearer than ever. I love my husband…he is my friend, my sweetheart and I will treat him so from this day forward. (I do reserve the right to make errors in my endeavor and ask for forgiveness and in so doing become even more appreciative of his love for me and my love for him.)

Campfire fun

Last night after dinner with my dad we went over to their house and had a bonfire. It was great fun and I captured a few photos that i think turned out very well. Take a look....

As for my dad...on Father's Day

This year for the first time in many years all of my dad's daughters were here for Fathers Day...so we decided to take him to dinner. He chose to go to the Outback...not my favorite place but hey it's all about dad. As we waited to be seated us girls sat around talking while Dad watched the US Open- hey isn't that just the way it is. Anyway, dinner was nice and the conversation was even better. We talked about our favorite memories growing up and laughed about the time Gretchen and Christian were playing hide and seek...gretchen found the best place to hide-the dryer-next thing she knew Christian turned it on...now of course we laugh now but really as a parent now- that is scary- the dryer will always be off limits to hide and seek! We talked about how dad-or maybe i just remembered- but hey dad used to tell us all stories and sing us songs before bed. We played games as we got older...we got to go to dad's baseball games...I remember dad teaching me to ride a bike. I remember going to the community swimming pool and dad taking us to the park afterwards. I remember for one of my birthdays dad taking a day off and we all went to Enchanted Village...so many memories. Best of all my dad taught me to teach by example because he was always a great example. I remember when i first got married and david and i had an argument over something that I don't even remember...he woke me in the middle of the night after I had said something like "my dad would never do that..." anyway when he woke me he said "I bet your dad wasn't perfect when he first got married!" Now I know my dad wasn't perfect but I also know I would like to be what he has become and more! Thanks Dad for all you do to inspire, guide and lead me and all of your children.

Happy Fathers Day

Birthday Wishes

So it was my birthday a couple days ago and yes I am another year older...33 to be exact. Birthdays to me are for one thing and one thing only...a time to get together with friends and family and celebrate the joy they bring to me throughout the year. I had a wonderful birthday...my sister came over and helped me clean my house...which was a much needed and wonderful thing for her to do. I have decided that I need her to come over once a month just to give me company and the motivation to do it myself. My other mom -David's mom- took me shopping all day Saturday and purchased a few nice pieces of clothing for me...My mom gave me a year of movies...once a month whether it be a rented video or movie at the theatre, for the next year i get to share an evening with her watching movies...and I have all the goodies to go with it. My husband David...after being told by myself that my trip to Kansas would be my gift...even went out and purchased the plush, soft body pillow I had mentioned over a month ago for my gift. It was a nice day and ended with friends and family coming over to share the evening with me. I didn't get the word out to everyone... it was kind of last minute... but those who were there made me feel special, loved and a part of something bigger than myself. Each person in my life helps me to see the person I can be, through their eyes. Looking back over the past year I am very grateful for the experiences I have had, the friends I have made, the choices that have blessed my life, and for the growing I have done. I am better than I was last year and I owe it all to the people that grace my life and teach me through their example. So, as I bring this to a close I make my birthday wish for the next year...I wish that I can be the same kind of example to my friends and family that they are to me...I wish that I can learn to hold my tongue and treat everyone the way I would want to be treated-with the respect and love they deserve...that I can get lost in the service of others-my family included-and forget about myself yet by doing so, find myself in a way I never have before. Happy Birthday to me...until next year!

Is it really all about me?

To be or not to be… selfish!

Is it really all about me? A while ago I got in a long drawn out conversation with someone I know about selfishness- I told this friend they needed to stop being so selfish. (Don’t worry we have that kind of relationship) Needless to say the conversation led to them saying that everyone puts themselves first and that no one is unselfish. At the time I was taken aback by it because I do find myself, more often than not, to be unselfish or at least I feel that I try to be- so I don’t really think of myself as selfish. However, since then it has been a real eye opener to see things from a different vantage point. I AM SELFISH! All of us are selfish, that is the natural tendency of all human beings. I think the goal in life is to control that tendency to a point in which it benefits others. If I was so caught up in myself that I couldn’t see others for their goodness and mercy in my life, if I was so blind that I blamed everyone around me for the negativity surrounding me than I could never find true happiness. I could tell everyone I was happy with my life and the things in it but underneath, deep down if I really thought about it I would know things could be better. However, if my selfishness was to use my special talents and gifts to help others, if my selfishness was something I freely admitted and continued to strive to put others first and I constantly was seeking for opportunities to share what I have, whether material, emotional, or spiritual, than I would be on the road to greater things. In my marriage I constantly strive to do this for my husband. I am not perfect, in fact I am far from it but it is the foremost on my mind to work on. As a mom, it is a little easier to be unselfish because more often than not my kids can’t do it without me. In this case the tendency is to tell them “I’ll do it later,” or “you can do it yourself I am busy.” Now sometimes, for them to learn priorities this must be said but if it gets to be habitual it is time to step back and reevaluate. I actually believe I am the most selfish with my husband and children. With friends it is easy to be unselfish because to do things for them is unexpected while with my husband and children it feels like it is required and it no longer is fun to do things because there seems to be no appreciation yet this is no excuse because as I have mentioned before this life, I believe, is about learning to give without expecting anything in return. And as I think about it more that is the definition of unselfishness. The times in which I give without expecting a thing are the times when I am most happy. Don’t get me wrong receiving is lots of fun and I can be happy with receiving too, but the sadness comes when I give and expect to receive and don’t get anything. So why not give…without ever expecting. Is this something that I can accomplish in this life? I wonder… Some days are better than others. I am learning…in fact it is easier with some people than it is with others. Well, enough said, I am sure we all have our own take on this subject, this is only a brief bit about mine. It’s a daily challenge- at the end of my life I hope I am more unselfish than not…I hope that I can look back and see more happiness than not… and ultimately, I hope that through my actions others find more happiness than not in their own lives. So , i guess the answer to my question is...it is really all about me however it is all about me choosing to make my life more about someone else.

Tribute to Friendship

Tribute To Friendship

I have been told a lot lately how good a friend I am which I have to be honest is very flattering. In fact it brings a smile to my face and gives me the much needed self esteem to keep plugging away at life. I am writing this however to let all those who are giving me the compliments know that they are just as good of friends to me. I know I am really good at calling people- I always have been, ask my cousins and friends that I have had since I knew that a telephone could keep me in touch with people who didn’t live next door. I love talking to people. Even if they don’t want to hear from me- I am there. Over the years though, I have figured out how to tell if someone wants to talk to me or doesn’t and I make sure to keep it short if it is the latter. But those who want to talk get an ear full- sometimes more than they want- I have even learned to let someone get a word in edge wise. (Ha! Ha!) I am even learning to be a good listener too. (I sometimes have to remind myself communication is a two way street) Anyway what is this all about…it is about what everyone brings to the table. I am good at talking and letting people know I am thinking of them, I am even good at knowing when someone needs a good uplift, a kind word, a card, or a thoughtful reminder that they are not alone. (When I was youth I have many a friend – one in general- who got this a lot and I know now there is a time a place and you can go overboard) Aside from that, that is my gift- on the other hand everyone else has other gifts that they can share. I have friends who I watch and learn from- the way they treat people, the way they organize their time, the way the prioritize their lives, the way the study good books- religious or otherwise, how creative they are, how they discipline their children, the fact they can listen- when I am the one doing all the talking, their gardening skills, how they treat education, what they do to keep themselves in control of their lives, their baking skills, the way they are able to stretch themselves beyond their known limits only to come out ahead of what they ever thought possible. These are just a few of the many talents each of my friends’ have. I am the friend and person I am because of them. Each one of my friends makes me a better person. Friends throughout my life have contributed many of my great learning experiences in life. Some of those experiences have come directly because of what a friend has brought to my attention or through self evaluation through a friends’ life. I am ever so grateful for every person who I can call a friend or have called a friend because it is because of their influences in my life that I am who I am. At this time in my life being surrounded by my children 24 hours a day I know that I would not survive without knowing I have friends who support me, strengthen me and lift me on to higher ground. I pay tribute to my friends past, present and future and thank them for the gifts they have and continue to share with me. Just knowing they are there for me if ever I need them gives me great peace of mind. I do have friends who have been with me for many, many years and have stuck by my side through thick and thin and I want them to know (they know who they are) that my love continues to grow for them- even if we aren’t around each other as often- that I am blessed by what they have taught me through their examples throughout the years. And those friends who I have just met within the few years I am so grateful for what you bring to my life at this time- I could not be as successful as I am without your support and guidance. I have said often that my friends (family included) are on the top of my most important things and this is why I will do whatever I can to make sure they know of their significance in my life. I love each and every one of you! Your lifelong friend…

7 loves!

I was tagged by my friend Erika! This made me think and maybe I took it a little more seriously than I should but I needed to remind myself of what I have and who I am.

7 things!

I love me! I know I said it. I am selfish and I want everyone to do things for me. I want to tell everyone (mostly my kids and husband) to do something and have them do it because I told them to do it. I want, I want, I want! However, while that is the truth I am very selfish deep down I also know that true happiness comes from loving others which leads me into my next love…

I love my husband…he teaches me how to be a better me. * is that selfish? Nah! Love is putting someone else’s wants and needs before yours, which is probably why I didn’t complain when he bought the new Mariokart- because it’s definitely not for me but it made him happy and someone else’s happiness always brings me happiness. Although, I do need to remember that next time I see that happiness to let him really enjoy it before I use it as barter for getting what I want. I also love him for all he does for me. I love him for the patience he has for me. I don’t show my appreciation as often as I should, in fact I often allow myself to get caught up in all the things he doesn’t do but really, truly he does more for me than not. He does do the dishes… he does take out the garbage…he does pick things up last minute at the store on his way home from work when he would rather be coming home…he does buy me my wardrobe (yes, I would not have any clothes if he did not shop because I hate spending $$ on clothes…he does not get upset at me even when I know he wreathing inside and wants to tell me to—well, you know…he does allow for the occasional evening out with friends for movies, talking, dinner or whatever…I also love my kids which I could not have done without him. My kids are my life- literally- and when I look at them I love my husband even more because they are part of him and together we can make a difference in their lives and last but not least he does enjoy being around family for extended periods of time, which leads me to my other love…

My mom, dad, brothers and sisters—I just spent the entire week with each of them and their children and while I am exhausted, I am filled with absolute love, respect, awe, joy and oh so much more for each of them and their spouses. I learn from them by watching them, listening to them, talking with them and just being around them. I see what I can improve in my life and how I can be a better sibling, daughter, wife, mother and friend, which leads to my next love…

My friends. What would I do without my friends? Yes, my family are my friends but I am talking about those outside my family. The people who give me yet another perspective on “me.” Those who strengthen me, listen to me, talk with me, and want to be around me not because they are family and have to but because they want too. Each friend teaches me something new about myself that I couldn’t learn without them. Really my friends are my family! Which in a round about way leads me to my next love…

The gospel of Jesus Christ…more specifically my Savior. His example, His teachings, His love…it is what keeps me going when I don’t want to go anymore. Knowing that he was sent by my Heavenly Father to be an advocate for me and that he chose to sacrifice himself for not only me but every person who lives in this world, who ever has lived and who ever will live—gives me a kind of peace that I can’t get from anywhere else. While I know this knowledge is not tangible- it is very real! My life would not and could not be what it is without this knowledge. Which leads to my other love…

Knowledge! Now I am not the kind of person who wants to know how things work like computers, or science or math but I love learning new things. I love being in school. I love studying the scriptures. I love having intellectual conversations that keep my mind open to new ideas and new thoughts. I am way more philosophical than logical but I love when someone or something can teach me something new. I don’t like learning technical things from books – I like to see things in action. I love learning about people, about history, about philosophy-- which leads me to my final love.

Diversity- I love that every one is different, has different backgrounds, different thoughts, different personalities, different experiences. I love that while I am different that people can love me for those differences and not judge me if I don’t agree with them. I love that I can learn from others differences and be better for having known them. I love that differences are strengths that either solidify my convictions or allow me to change. We are all free to choose the path we are going to take however the diversity in us means that while I am may not agree with the path others take they have the right to choose and because of that we are all diverse and yet in that diversity I am strengthened. I am ME- but I can always improve ME which brings me full circle.. I am selfish but I could not be happy if it wasn’t for someone else helping ME to grow into something more than I can even imagine.

*I tag melain, rebecca k, and rebecca d.