Is it really all about me?

To be or not to be… selfish!

Is it really all about me? A while ago I got in a long drawn out conversation with someone I know about selfishness- I told this friend they needed to stop being so selfish. (Don’t worry we have that kind of relationship) Needless to say the conversation led to them saying that everyone puts themselves first and that no one is unselfish. At the time I was taken aback by it because I do find myself, more often than not, to be unselfish or at least I feel that I try to be- so I don’t really think of myself as selfish. However, since then it has been a real eye opener to see things from a different vantage point. I AM SELFISH! All of us are selfish, that is the natural tendency of all human beings. I think the goal in life is to control that tendency to a point in which it benefits others. If I was so caught up in myself that I couldn’t see others for their goodness and mercy in my life, if I was so blind that I blamed everyone around me for the negativity surrounding me than I could never find true happiness. I could tell everyone I was happy with my life and the things in it but underneath, deep down if I really thought about it I would know things could be better. However, if my selfishness was to use my special talents and gifts to help others, if my selfishness was something I freely admitted and continued to strive to put others first and I constantly was seeking for opportunities to share what I have, whether material, emotional, or spiritual, than I would be on the road to greater things. In my marriage I constantly strive to do this for my husband. I am not perfect, in fact I am far from it but it is the foremost on my mind to work on. As a mom, it is a little easier to be unselfish because more often than not my kids can’t do it without me. In this case the tendency is to tell them “I’ll do it later,” or “you can do it yourself I am busy.” Now sometimes, for them to learn priorities this must be said but if it gets to be habitual it is time to step back and reevaluate. I actually believe I am the most selfish with my husband and children. With friends it is easy to be unselfish because to do things for them is unexpected while with my husband and children it feels like it is required and it no longer is fun to do things because there seems to be no appreciation yet this is no excuse because as I have mentioned before this life, I believe, is about learning to give without expecting anything in return. And as I think about it more that is the definition of unselfishness. The times in which I give without expecting a thing are the times when I am most happy. Don’t get me wrong receiving is lots of fun and I can be happy with receiving too, but the sadness comes when I give and expect to receive and don’t get anything. So why not give…without ever expecting. Is this something that I can accomplish in this life? I wonder… Some days are better than others. I am learning…in fact it is easier with some people than it is with others. Well, enough said, I am sure we all have our own take on this subject, this is only a brief bit about mine. It’s a daily challenge- at the end of my life I hope I am more unselfish than not…I hope that I can look back and see more happiness than not… and ultimately, I hope that through my actions others find more happiness than not in their own lives. So , i guess the answer to my question is...it is really all about me however it is all about me choosing to make my life more about someone else.